Next year I will… lose weight, stop drinking,be nice, work out more, be a better parent, partner, employee, daughter, human being. Sounds reasonable.
I myself spent many years in this constant state of debauchery in december to dive head first into the justified purification process of January.
January… even as I type it I am wishing I could jump over it and land in March, when the green and yellow of the grass is peaking out of the melting snow and the sun is starting to hold more heat.
I can’t help but believe that every calendar event we participate in is simply a drive at consumers to transition out of one commercial nightmare to another.
We move sluggishly from the overindulgence of a season that glorifies gluttony to a season that is pushing and exploiting the drive to better ourselves after falling off of every wagon we have ever jumped on.
There has to be a better way? of course I have been telling myself that for years, There has to be a better way.
Personally, there are many things I would like to improve about myself, but I find over the years, yo yo ing back and forth between feeling self righteous in my successes and tapping out over my failures, I have found a better way.
It’s not that I don’t want to lose that ten pounds or tighten my arms, or work out more. But more that that, I choose to evolve, every day of the year.
I choose to wake up each day with the belief that no matter what is presented to me, I can handle it, I can transform it and learn from it.
Some days are better than others, that is true, but I find myself freed up from the intense pressure that comes with December 31st and accepting that I will work to lean into my lessons and evolve in grace.
Somehow in this place, I am reminded and know that when I do this, all of the other things I seek, will come with it.
How could they not? My intention is always to be a better person, to do better in ways that are heart centered and to disolve my ego parts layer by layer.
So I will not set any New Year’s Resolutions, not this year or the next or any, but what I will do is Resolve to Evolve.
To become my highest self, in a multi dimensional way. Every day, every year that I continue to walk this earth, that is my intention.
I am committed to somehow and someway live the life I know is there, rather than the one I feel I ought to. I live in the energy of realization of what is truly important and work endlessly on finding a balance of self care and service.
I am not perfect, but in this, I have found perfection, I make mistakes, so many, but my resolve is to learn from them, not to harbour the regret that can color my present moments with past shades.
I have no interest in joining the masses entering a new yoga program or gym membership or diet on January the 1st, because I know that no matter what the date, I will wake up with a resolve to evolve, to embrace each lesson from the day with a heart that is soft if not open and with eyes that see beyond what I can take in on the spectrum.
Each day, I will continue to evolve into a higher, more loving and open version of what I am right now, in all ways.
To face my demons head on and lay my sword down at days end with a knowing that I have done the best I can with the highest good in mind.